I realized tonight will be the first night in the last 10 nights that I am at home with my family, with nothing to do but eat dinner and watch Madagascar 2.
…what a sad commentary.
I understand that being a youth pastor has stretches of time where things are unavoidable. This time it has been Jr. High camp, 604 gathering, Catalyst, dinner with friends, Upward basketball (has nothing to do with being a youth pastor, only with being a dad), serving at the homeless shelter, etc. On top of that my wife is very sick with a sinus infection and she is more than 7 months pregnant. Seems like my house has been the place where I sleep lately, not where I live. And I’m pretty tired of that.
I’m quite sure that Jesus never meant for my life to be like this. Yes, I love my family. Yes, I love my job, friends, church, students, and pastors. But I have been spending entirely too much time “investing” in others while leaving my family hanging in the balance. Although I have volunteered in Isaiah’s class each Wednesday for the last 3 weeks, and although I have spent most of the day with Joshua on Fridays, I rarely get to just hang out with my wife, or to spend time with my ENTIRE family.
On top of that, I heard some pretty ugly rumors about me through a friend today that are not only unfounded, but untrue and (what hurts the most) were meant to be slanderous.
All that to say I’m tired. I could use some time away from “church”, which is weird because I LOVE the people I work with and for. I could use some time away from Merced, which is weird because I LOVE living here and really couldn’t imagine living anywhere else right now. I could use some time away from my own thoughts, which is also weird because I’m not sure I could ever really do that. I could really use some extended and concentrated time with my family and with Jesus.
I’m sure this will pass, and I’m nowhere near Kurt Kobain status, but tonight I’m gonna turn off my phone and eat pizza and watch Madagascar and laugh with my family.
…see ya tomorrow at “church”.
“Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my burden is easy and my yoke is light.”
Matt,
You are doing so much for so many people, while I’m not glad that you are feeling so tired… I am glad that you are aware of the need for you to invest in some down time! Please lean on those of us around you who are willing to bear some of your burden! My family is so blessed to have you in our lives…
On a personal note, you have five latronicas who are very willing to punch people in the face for you! (that’s in reference to the person who is speaking poorly of you!)
You are awesome, your wife is awesome and your kids are awesome! Spend some quality time ignoring everyone else!
-Cindy
Matt so sorry you are feeling this way. ….But understandable because you are always so giving of yourself. So enjoy some down time with your beautiful family and remember you have so many who love you all and anyone speaking poorly of you does not even know YOU. If you need anything you know where to find me ….hugs to all of you.